![roxane gay new york times advice column roxane gay new york times advice column](https://bucket.mn2s.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/30164052/Roxane-Gay-MN2S.jpg)
I’m in my early 60s and I’m heading back to government policy work after a 10-year absence. No one can create the necessary imperative to course correct but you.
ROXANE GAY NEW YORK TIMES ADVICE COLUMN HOW TO
You’ve figured out how to coast but know you won’t be able to do so forever. If you could just set a schedule and stick to it, you would have done that. So, how do you develop motivation and discipline in a situation where these things are not demanded? I think most of us struggle with that, especially now that we’re working from home, without much externally imposed structure. But clearly you do think there is a problem here. Why do you need to reset your mind-set? You’re getting your work done. I need to reset my mind-set about work (it pays the bills). I also learned that my work was not that demanding - what took me eight hours in the office I was completing in four at home. I didn’t need to maintain a strict schedule and no longer felt guilty if I was away from my computer for more than an hour. Co-workers would take days to respond to emails, if at all. Throughout the summer, the reporting requirements eased. Initially we had to agree to maintain a set work schedule and there was a requirement to set weekly goals and report to the supervisor weekly but that has dwindled to a (maybe) once a month.
![roxane gay new york times advice column roxane gay new york times advice column](https://www.boswellbooks.com/sites/boswellbooks.com/files/Chris%20Sturdevant%20event%20icon%20no%20border%201018.png)
My hours spent “working” have become sporadic or some days nonexistent. But lately, I don’t care if I meet my deadlines at work.
![roxane gay new york times advice column roxane gay new york times advice column](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2019/08/09/opinion/09Gay/09Gay-mediumThreeByTwo210.jpg)
Until September I was able to maintain a work/life schedule and met all deadlines, while enjoying my private interests, like gardening or painting, during the day. I have been working from home since late March. Whatever you were dealing with, you’re overcoming. You know what you’ve had to deal with and what it took to get to this place where now you work at an agency where you are a client. Maybe you could just rip the bandage off and come out, so to speak, identifying yourself as a client so you don’t have to worry about your colleagues learning your client status otherwise. department? If so, you might approach them, outline your concerns and ask them to remind your co-workers about what is and what is not appropriate in terms of how they discuss clients. (I absolutely trust your instinct that something is off.)Ĭan you trust your boss or your H.R. You have a few options, but none of them are ideal because I am not sure what is instigating your paranoia. It must be exhausting to live with so much shame while also trying to do your job and raise your family. I am so sorry you are carrying this unfair burden. How do I start to address it and who do I confide in? I don’t feel brave enough to confront anyone.
![roxane gay new york times advice column roxane gay new york times advice column](https://i1.wp.com/multiversitystatic.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/2020/10/The-Sacrifice-of-Darkness.jpg)
I feel like people know bits of my story but not my entire truth and it is hurting my career. I know it is not that big a deal to help myself and my family but to hear fellow co-workers talk about cases feels like they are talking about me. The more I have moved up the ranks of the agency the more I have become paranoid everyone knows my story and my shame and my guilt have grown. I work for a social service agency where I’m also a client. Include your name and location, even if you want them withheld. Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to.